completely lost of confidence

hais ! another failure . crap la ! whole mid yr like KNS ! hais ! i can pat my heart and swear that i did put in lots and lots of effort on mid year . but why will likdat ?! HAIS ! maybe im too complacent ! HAIS ! talk about something happy barhhs . lols ystd chinese paper i managed to get the class highest . but felt that its nth cos the marks is nt that fanatastic too . and my rivals nv unleash their potential also . hope today my paper could do well too , kinda have confidence . YOSH ! gotta put my heart down on chinese ! have to get A1 ! hais . dunno why nowadays my heart will suddenly become very pain , even when walking , pain till can't even breathe . issit emotionally pain or physically pain ? 为什么会这样? 我好想你! IM SO TIRED ! have to act in class that i dun give a damn but my heart really hurts !

PS : 好怀念以前 ! 一切都来的太突然 . 我好想你 ! 我可以放弃忘记你吗 ? 真的好痛 T.T